I won't tell anyone.

Nevermind.
I'll be okay.
this is just a temporary.
(I'd trying make myself feel calm)

how sad it is.
how pain it is.
I'd promise to myself that I'll be alright.

honestly speaking. I hate my family right now.
I dunno why n please don't ask me why.
but I felt this way everytime they speak to me.
why you being so mean to me?
why had I did to you?

sometimes I wish that My family are not my biological blood.
do you get what I mean?

everthing that I did is wrong.
why cant you take me as I am?

sometimes, It is hard to being nice.

I won't tell anyone.
May time heal me.

?

Nevermind I'll find someone like you.
Ai wish nothing but the best for you,too.
Don't forget me Ai begged.
Ai remembered you said.
"sometimes It lasts in love,
but sometimes It hurts instead".

Adele-Someone Like You

glurppp. such a sad song~ grief!
heyyy wait a minute.
ME? listen to a sad song?
wat was happening here?
Gee-Gee-Gee~ :)

Ai couldnt be like what you wanted dad.
but Yu shud proud of me because Ai am totally being me~
sometimes It is hard to explain.
nobody knows my feeling.
It is bleeding inside.
but dont worry.
I'll never let you see me cry.
Ai also hv a big hopes, dreams.
Ai am work on it dad.
Yu just need to wish me fur the best.
that's all~
Ai am trying!
Ai just want you to know that. Ai am trying and Ai have a heart too because Ai am human not a monster. kayyy~ betta stop now! haha. :) <3

AIM HIGHER CHATZE. :)

post it note. starting today~ cehhh! :)

1.buy envelope (A3 size) fer filing the report.
2.daily report- today mesti siap sampai April. so, that means kena cancelled lunch with Evon~ huhu! sori Evon. maybe 2moro kay~ Ai promise! really have to. sorry again~ :(
3.thick report siapkan starting 8pm till ........ (not sure).

intro 100%
Chapter 1 50%
Chapter 2 0%
Chapter 3 80%
Chapter 4 0%
Chapter 5 not sure. later need to check back~ :)
Chapter 6 100%
Chapter 7 100%
Chapter 8 100%

4. packing things. 4/7/2011
5. things to buy:
-5 pairs baju kurung
-milk powder ENSURE
-night cream OLAY rembat Mama punye. keh keh keh~:)
-multivitamin
-new heater (kettle)
-food supply
-toilettories. do Ai spell it rite? double tt?
-scarf.
-buku MUET (borrow from My Sis sudeeehhhh. hihi~ :)

LORD KNOWS. DREAMS ARE HARD TO FOLLOW.

Sangat penat.
bertungkus lumus untuk siapkan report~
i'm tired !
really exhausted. huhu~ :(
sweating sambil huming-huming lagu MC-Hero!
haha, Ai noe it kinda old but heyyy Ai don't care.
daily report in progress but still 50%!
thick report not done maybe about 40%!
so how?

going back to Kedah. maybe 4th or 5th of July 2011.
still hoping my report has done earlier so Ai have a betta life then.

hoping for 4.00 flat for my final year~ Amin ! InsyaALLAH. :)
Usaha + Doa + Tawakal = 4.00 flat.

next sem would be :
- no karaoke fer every weeks maknenya everday haha. haishhh. Chatze, ur focus need more focus~ glurppp ! :)
- solat. recite Al-Quran after perform solat Maghrib~ :)
- no last minute revision. that means everyday yu have to revise like tomorrow is gonna b ur final exam fer dat paper.
- follow schedule plsss. discipline is the main thing~ ngeee! :(
- aim UM. InsyaALLAH~

okayyy. betta finish up ma report~ huhu ! 4.00 flat. InsyaALLAH~ Amiin! :)

-

STILL THINK BOUT THIS THING A LOT.

macam mana keadaan nenek kat situ?

nenek masih rasa sakit tak?

nenek masih rasa letih tak?

minta maaf nenek sebab tak melawat nenek.

tak tahu pun nenek masuk hospital.

kalaulah boleh diputarkan masa.

akanku mohon seribu ampun darimu.

mesti banyak dosaku terhadapmu nek.

selalu buat nenek risau.

nenek duduk situ baik-baik ya.

nanti satu hari Adek akan menyusul menemani nenek lagi.

melihat nenek pergi dalam keadaan tersenyum pun sudah buat hati Adek tenang.

lepas ni nenek takperlulah rasa susah hati lagi.

Adek akan selalu doakan nenek kat sana.

nenek adalah yang terbaik.

Yu are my only grandma.

I love yu so much.

terima kasih menjaga Adek slame ni.

tak dapat dibalas pergorbananmu.

Al-Fatihah Nek.

tunggu Adek ye

I try letting yu go..

still thinking bout this thing a lot

how your life there?

i'm afraid they gonna hurt yu.

yu got me shaken up

please tell me there's a way

i'm gonna miss yu badly Nek..

Please.Dont Tell Me Goodbye.

I'm gonna miss yu

why yu leave me?

I need yu.

Al-Fatihah untuk Arwah Nenek.

Fun + Freedom = Finally

finally.
my miserable life ends.
during a month of April I've been worked fer 12hours a day.
fuhhh.
thanks Allah fer everything.
Ai tot that Ai am gonna be crazy.
lucky. It's almost.
my memory.
still here and remains here.
eventhough all the circumstances that Ai had faced.
finally. Ai made it.
with flying colours.
thanks Mr Lee Swee Yong fer giving me the precious opportunity fer having a practical fer 5 months there.
Miss Teh Poh Ling.
Mrs Esther.
Miss Jenny Ling.
Miss Lee Yun.
Miss Lee Shirlin.
Miss Evon Ng Hui Yen.
Miss Windy.
Miss Wee San.
Mr Cheong Hon Noon.
Mr Lee Pan Yang.
Mr Kar Hoe.
Mr Raymond.

Dang.

Why Ai am hurting like this?

oh SHIT.

wae naman irokedo apahanunji?

I MY ME MINE

Ai am who Ai am.

accept Me fer being Me.

Ai am not gonna changed it.

fullstop.

sorry haters.

yu just waste ur time. lol.

~babo gati haru jongil~

SHUT UP strangers.

hello.sorry.

who are yu?

yu dont know me.

and ai dont know yu fer sure.

first, ai wanna tell yu that ai am not a spoilt kid.

secondly, ai am not fully depends on my parents and siblings.

thirdly, shut up strangers.

finally, mind ur on business. such a busybody. yu dont hv ur life ah?

~biromogul niga miwojyo~

my name is CHATZE!

JOGGING IS not BORING

jogging?

dad, r yu free this Saturday ?

then He replied yes.

jog like every Saturday.

it is already became our routine.

our means my parents.

lol.

so we went to Tasek Titiwangsa.

go there plus "cuci mata".

cool.

we usually arrived around 7-8.

if yu go there i'm pretty sure we had met.

YET

Ai never wanted to admit it

Ai never thought We were ending like this

But Ai gotta say

Ai still love Yu

Ai cant remember what Ai did today

Ai was waiting fer Your call n Ai ended up doing nothing

Ai really miss Yu n in My mind

Ai can still see the images of Yu

Those who does't know smiles n asks how yu r doing

The word "break up" is still unfamiliar

So Ai couldn't say anything about it

Ai still haven't learned about breaking up

And still not sure what sadness means

Still even if Yu leave Me fer now

Ai wont believe it.

Tears won't come out

Still even if it sounds like like a lie rather than a sad song

Still Ai can feel little by little

Now Ai am crying

Ai guess it's beginning

Ai wanna rewind it Yu n Ai laughing in this picture

the loneliness wrapping around me and ai spend the night in tears

after you've left , the sad love has built a Fallin' love spaceship

You've lingered in my mind all day n

You've left n Ai can't do anything about it

Now Ai want to catch it

But now Ai can't love if it's not yu

Ai miss when Ai would at Yu n Yu would smile back

No matter how Ai try we probably can't be together

Never knew it would hurt like this

Ai never know

if Ai knew what it meant earlier

No No

Rewind the time

So Ai could

have held yu back and never let yu go

RUN

why Ai cant stop from calling your name?

this is like addiction..

even when Ai cant see your shadow..

remember you is more than enough..

what is happening to me..

oh SHIT~

BELIEBERS

Ai <3 JUSTIN BIEBER.. ^o^

PLEASE KILL ME CRUELLY

stop making a single promises
if yu not pretty sure

stop giving a false hopes
if yu know that yu cant fullfilled it

because it just gonna killing me slowly
but cruelly and it was really painfull
yu had promised and gave me a strength to believe on yu
Ai trust on yu because yu are someone that Ai loved the most
but yu left me half alive and dumped me on the ground
crying and look like a dumb
yu broke all the promises

Ai am not mad if yu say NO at the first place
at least it just gonna feel like
been stabbed with a knife through my heart
or take a gun and point it to my brain

but yu did tortured my heart
why dont yu just killing me so it doesnt feel so much pain

First Yu Say Yu Want.Then Yu Say Yu Will.Yu Keep Me hanging On.

Ai am not a perfect person
but Ai am trying so hard to be a perfect person to yu
eventhough it is killing me slowly
but Ai will never giving up just like that
because Ai am strong outside
but who knows inside it bleeding
only capital H I M knows
that is ALLAH

Ai still trying to carve a smile
eventhough that is the hardest thing to do
but Ai still dont wanna show how my feeling towards yu..

but please,please and please smiling back to me
Ai dont ask fer more
only smile back to me
so Ai can feel everything is gonna be okay
eventhough Ai feel like in a other whole planet
please be kind
Ai am also a human
and have a fragile heart

special fer yu MIss Jenny eventhough Ai noe yu din read this.

JIBE GAJIMA

25days to go..
yeahhh~
thick report + daily report!
not done yet..
haisss~
sweating!

" JIBE GAJIMA BABY
NOYEGE JU SAMURI YANE NUNDE
JIBE GAJIMA BABY
NUNSINU SU AJI ANA YOUR SWEET HEART " lol.. :) nice song by TOP n GD~ <3

He is not mine.. T_T

maybe He is not fer me..

keep on move in April~

dont always be so lazy!

hihi.. :) <3

Vice Versa

Ai am not preetier than yu..
who won the queen..
Ai am not smarter than yu..
who always on the top..
Ai am not a writer or artistic either..
Ai have no talent that yu got..
yup, Ai admit it..
Yu can say to me repeatedly..
Yu can broke my heart with your words..

Ai still remember that Yu said to me that yu have a lot of friends than Ai do..
Yup, Ai still admit it..
many people wanna chase Yu..
but Ai never had that feeling ' like in a fairytale "

and now Ai still admit it..
but thanks for open my eyes for the things that Ai never thought..
but yu have to know one thing,
maybe yu forgot or yu didnt know..
that Ai also have a heart..
yu did told me that yu had a lot of friends rite ??
sometimes Ai envy of yu..
how can yu really kind and nice to them so they didnt hurt
instead of my heart ??

maybe Ai am not important anymore in your life..
because now yu got everything that yu want..
dont worry Ai am okay..

I'm fine, thank yu. Und Yu ??

I'm fine, thank you. And Yu ??

(Big Bang- Thank Yu Und Yu)

Story of My BESTfriend..

Ai am not someone that easily giving up just like that..
but Ai also have a heart..
Ai still remember when Ai was young..
in a high school..
someone took a love from me..
but Ai just keep saying to myself that " It's okay "..
but sadly, She was my bestfriend..
that is so sad..
but Ai still dont want to show that Ai am sad..
just because She is my bestfriend..
someone that can be trusted telling me that She saying that " Ai am too late "..
Ai shed a tears everytime Ai think bout it..
but Ai exactly not a girl who fighting each other just about a guy..
ohhh..
that is so not me..
and now..
Ai am afraid to a guy who have fallen in love with their partner or ex..
because that is something that Ai cannot tell..
Ai am just afraid..
let them do this to me..
you can take all my love..
you can take everything from me..
dont worry, Ai am still strong yet..

Hello Hello~ ^0^

seriously, Ai am in love with Yu.. :)

Lee Dong Wook

SHOCK

stop being so good and nice..
and stop talking about my future..
you dont even know how I'm feeling..
it is already ruined..
I'm not good in Science and I'm not good in accounting either..
so how my future gonna looks like ??

the tears are gonna dry..
my heart cant take it anymore..
did someone can tell me..
i dunno why..
this feeling is something that i cant tell..
ohhh Gee..

everyday ohh..
everynight ohh..
Ai am shock~